Hello. My name is Bob the Spider. Can I be your friend?

Over the course of the past four weeks I have discovered three things that could in fact speed the process of my death.

I sit at the local public library which, according to mapquest, is approximately 1.55 miles away from the college campus. Not a bad distance at all. In fact there are many cute little places within a five mile radius of my school. Boutiques, hair salons, thrift stores, bakeries, movie theaters, and about ten Starbucks.
With the absence of a motor vehicle, I am obliged to put my red bicycle to use. So far it has been a great experience. I feel like I get so much more exercise during the week, I don't have to pay for gas, and it helps the economy! What could be better, right? However, one thing that didn't occur to me before I moved away to college, was the very "hilly" terrain around the Seattle area. I'll tell you right now: if homework (death-causing agent #1) doesn't kill me by the time four years is up, then I could almost bet that the hills around here will. (death-causing agent #2)
Although I have yet to actually measure for certain, I have a feeling that the circumference of my calf muscles has increased by at least half an inch on each leg. I suppose I should look on the bright side: I never have a problem falling asleep at night.
If homework doesn't kill me, and if by some miracle my bike rides don't put my heart into an odd arrhythmia, then I'll be killed by spiders. (death-causing agent #3) The school bike rack is an arachnid breeding ground. Even if my bike has only been hooked up for four hours, when I return it is sure to be covered in spider webs. I have to carefully inspect my handle bars before each ride as I once found a very large friend that wanted to tag along with me. Maybe he wanted to be my friend. You never know - he could have been a good moral support.