Don't ask me

There are moments when I get this feeling deep in my gut and it has nothing to do with my digestive tract. I have experienced this sensation numerous times over the past week, and even now it lingers. I get this slight ache in my stomach and a lump forms in my throat. My heart feels so large that I think my ribs are going to all snap. During these moments I sometimes wonder if I'm going to have a myocardial infarction.
I had this feeling late Monday night when I drove away under the stars and the giant full moon. As the tears began to fall it seemed that God was crying with me as the large raindrops started to fall.
I had this feeling when I stood out in the heat and said good-bye to my obnoxious mentor-turned-friend. I couldn't come up with the right words to say and climbed in the car wishing I had said more.
I had this feeling on Wednesday when one of my heroes looked me in the eye and told me she was proud of me - that she knew I would do great things with this new chapter in my life.
I had this feeling just this morning when I sat across from an amazing young woman of God and was overwhelmed by the fact that I have been able to drink coffee with her, laugh with her, and share my heart with her.
I had this feeling tonight when I was surrounded by the family that I love so dearly.
And the only description I can create that even comes close to this feeling, is overwhelming love. So many people in my life have given it freely. If it were of their own hearts, I don't think I would feel overwhelmed by their affection. But the fact that it comes through a Love that even they don't understand: that is what makes it so powerful. There have been times recently that my mind almost hurts as I try to grasp the reason I have been blessed as I have. The blessing of this Love pours on me unexpectedly. I can't hold it in. It randomly escapes through tears, a ridiculous grin, or a hug. It's a good thing that I can accept this Love without fully understanding it......because that day will never come.