Play!

Children!!!! They seem to find me wherever I go. For that, I am very grateful.

Just a little while ago I was sitting at my desk taking chemistry notes. Yes, I have homework even though classes don't start until Tuesday. I was thinking about all of my kiddos back home that I have been missing terribly. My roomie had opened our door to let fresh air in (my Ramen noodles were beginning to add flavor to the whole room). An elderly man that apparently knew our RA and his granddaughter walked down the hall and said hello to us through our open doorway.

Anyways, long story short, I ended up playing with the lovely seven-year-old for an hour. We played go-fish, house, and the let's-be-sisters-so-the-little-sister-gets-to-play-with-the-older-sister's-ipod game. Ha. So much fun. I have to say yet again, that God thinks of everything. He sends random people to my door to give me a playmate. Anyone else want to come pay me a visit?

College Experience: Day 3

I have lived within the same forty-mile radius my entire life. Our family has ventured onto camping trips to nearby states, and even within Idaho. I have flown to Kansas by myself to visit my very best friend, and have traveled to Portland with my Grandparents once. But this is just about all that my traveling and adventuring life consists of. I was so excited when I visited Seattle last fall. But now I'm living there. And boy is it an adventure.

I have yet to actually leave the school campus on my own due to the crazy schedule entailed with orientation activities. But I have never been so thrilled in my life. To start over from scratch in a brand new place, with new friends, a new school, and a new chapter of life. The fact that my college is Christian excites me to no end. I have noticed a substantial difference between elementary and high school Christian schools, and Christian colleges. The majority of the students here actually choose to attend. The strong Christian community feel has become so evident even after two-and-a-half days. Now don't think I'm naive enough to believe that every student loves God with all their heart and is set on living for him. But for the most part, the students and faculty here are awesome. I can't explain to you in words the excitement and sheer joy I have for what God has planned for this next school year. The blessings that I have and am receiving are doubled by the prayers, love, and incredible support from all those I love back in Idaho. Thank you from the very depths of my heart. Please keep in touch! Love you all!!

I left Idaho today...

and it still hasn't sunken in. The drive went by considerably fast, all things considered. It was actually a pretty enjoyable ride. I drove for about two hours of the trip, all the while blaring Veggie Tales songs (much to the dismay of my Dad)

and drinking amazing Starbucks coffee...



And of course, as soon as we pulled into town it started raining. Good thing I don't mind it too much.
Orientation starts tomorrow morning, and hopefully we'll figure out how to fit all my crap into such a small room. I'll keep you updated on the latest happenings of the beautiful Seattle!

Don't ask me

There are moments when I get this feeling deep in my gut and it has nothing to do with my digestive tract. I have experienced this sensation numerous times over the past week, and even now it lingers. I get this slight ache in my stomach and a lump forms in my throat. My heart feels so large that I think my ribs are going to all snap. During these moments I sometimes wonder if I'm going to have a myocardial infarction.
I had this feeling late Monday night when I drove away under the stars and the giant full moon. As the tears began to fall it seemed that God was crying with me as the large raindrops started to fall.
I had this feeling when I stood out in the heat and said good-bye to my obnoxious mentor-turned-friend. I couldn't come up with the right words to say and climbed in the car wishing I had said more.
I had this feeling on Wednesday when one of my heroes looked me in the eye and told me she was proud of me - that she knew I would do great things with this new chapter in my life.
I had this feeling just this morning when I sat across from an amazing young woman of God and was overwhelmed by the fact that I have been able to drink coffee with her, laugh with her, and share my heart with her.
I had this feeling tonight when I was surrounded by the family that I love so dearly.
And the only description I can create that even comes close to this feeling, is overwhelming love. So many people in my life have given it freely. If it were of their own hearts, I don't think I would feel overwhelmed by their affection. But the fact that it comes through a Love that even they don't understand: that is what makes it so powerful. There have been times recently that my mind almost hurts as I try to grasp the reason I have been blessed as I have. The blessing of this Love pours on me unexpectedly. I can't hold it in. It randomly escapes through tears, a ridiculous grin, or a hug. It's a good thing that I can accept this Love without fully understanding it......because that day will never come.

Nerds are hott. So is...God?

You know that love story where this quiet nerdy guy with low self-esteem falls head-over-heels in love with this pretty girl? He follows her around like a puppy dog and watches her every move. She wouldn't know him from Adam, and yet he has noted how many siblings she has, how she chews on her pen when she's nervous, and he has her license plate number memorized. Can you say obsessed? He stands next to her in the lunch line hoping to get her attention and every class they have together he tries to sit close to her. He helped her pick up her books when she dropped them in the middle of the hall, but she doesn't remember. He can even recall one day when she was walking past him and she smiled at him. He even remembers what she was wearing that day. He is that crazy about her. You don't know that story? Well now you do. I just told it to you.
No, I don't have a stalker (that I know of), and no, I am not a stalker myself. Nope. This is the picture that popped into my head while reading one of my favorite chapters, Psalms 139.
Now before you jump to conclusions about whether I was delirious at the time or got "drunk in the Holy Spirit" I can assure you that I was totally sane and I didn't read Psalms chapter 163. (get it? psalms 163? anyhoo...)
I saw this picture of myself going about my daily business with this guy following me around. He watched everything I did and knew everything about me. The guy was God. The chapter starts with,
"Oh God, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. Your perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways."
God knows every detail about me. He follows me and knows every move that I make. "Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely oh Lord. You hem me in behind and before. You have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. Too lofty for me to attain." I thought about the hem you sew on clothes. As a young girl learning to sew I quickly found that if you don't first make a hem, your material will come completely unravelled. God is the same way. He ties up the loose ends "behind and before". But so many times I don't even notice or give value to all that he does. He's the backstage help that doesn't get much credit.
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there. If I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."
Wow. If that's not a good description of a stalker I don't know what is. Just think about that for a second. He's next to me when I sleep. He's by my side when I'm sitting on the porcelain throne. There isn't anywhere that I can go where he is absent.
"If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light become night around me', even the darkness will not be dark to you. The night will shine like the day. For darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
And then comes the part where the girl finally notices the young laddie. She realizes how much he thinks about her and how much he does for her without getting any attention in return.
"How precious to me are your thoughts oh God! How vast is the sum of them! If I were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you."
Then if you skip to the last couple verses they finally start to build a relationship. She wants to get to know him better and she actually cares about what he thinks and what he sees in her.
"Search me oh God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
As I read and reread this chapter, I couldn't help but be overcome by how much God cares about me. He sits quietly beside me on the couch, just waiting for me to give him a glance. I can't help but think of all the times that I have saddened him by talking to everyone else but him. And in those moments when I set time aside just to be with him, I can almost picture him blushing, and putting his hands behind his back, flattered that I would finally sit and talk with him. No, I don't picture Jesus as nerdy (although nerds are hott) and I don't think he's easily embarrassed, but I do think he longs to spend time with his children. Yes, he even has your license plate number memorized.

I'm a big kid now!

"Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."
-You've Got Mail



Now I may not live in New York, but that's beside the point. I absolutely love the start of a new school year. "Bouquets of newly sharpened pencils" sounds so picturesque, don't you agree? I can just picture in my mind a quaint little school house with a blackboard on the wall and a neat stack of books on the teacher's desk with a shiny red apple on top.
I have loved buying school supplies every year. Not only has it been three or four hours of shopping-turned-bonding time with my mom and three younger siblings, but it also resulted in many new exciting treasures. They ranged anywhere from backpacks to Pink Pearl erasers to those uber-cool mechanical pencils that come in tie-dye colors. My memory returns to the second grade when my mother personalized everything (lunch box, school box, pencil pouch, my clothes...) with fabric paint. In my second grade class picture I'm wearing an over-sized t-shirt with iron-on bunnies and fabric paint outlines. It definitely could have been worse, but it still amuses me nonetheless.
But this year, I don't need a lunch box. My school shopping list includes bedding, laundry detergent, kleenex, a coffee maker, and cool organizational boxes. It's a completely different feel. This year I'm on my own. Remember those pull-up commercials? That's me. "I'm a big kid now!"
Despite all the excitement that comes along with going to college, there is definitely a good portion of gloominess attached. My childhood is officially over. I have eight days left to "go out with a bang". All those wonderful childhood memories?...I don't get to make any more. That's it. Done. The end. El fin. "Nothin. Zilch. Nada." When adults used to tell me that becoming an adult isn't as much fun as it seems, and that I should enjoy my childhood while it lasts, I thought they were insane. But now that I'm finally here, I see that they were right. (dang it.)
So now I'm entering a new chapter; marching onward into an unknown territory. Hopefully I'll come out alright since I'm armed with strong weapons: God, a cell phone, and a french press. And this time, my things aren't decorated in brightly-colored fabric paint. I love you mom. :)

"Thank you for your patience, ma'am."

It gets me every time. No matter what store I go to, no matter what city I'm in, I always pick the wrong check-out line. The answer to why I have inherited this seeming-curse has yet to be revealed to me.
Today I was in one of my favorite stores. I had one item in my hands to purchase, and I wanted to get out quickly so that I could escape to my beloved coffee house which was playing live music. I wanted to run in, purchase my item, and leave.

No such luck.

Using my logic, I picked the shortest line. There was ONE man who had ONE item: an air mattress. How long could that possibly take? So I join the line and hold my precious 7-pack of underwear (for a friend, okay? don't ask....) to my chest so as to avoid possible embarrassment. All goes well until the sales clerk asks the question that is habitually ingrained in her mind, "Would you like to save ten percent by signing up for a membership card?"
I have wondered how many people actually say yes in answer to this question. Personally, I feel like saying no just because she had the audacity to ask me. Horrible, I know. But....despite all odds, our gentleman answers in the affirmative. The clerk reaches up to turn off the light that illuminates the illustrious number three above our heads. She looks at me and says "I'm going to be a while ma'am."
I smile politely and reply, "That's okay." Being the somewhat ignorant and stubborn person that I am I convince myself that filling out a membership form couldn't possibly take more than two minutes. Oi vey.
After about two minutes I had set my purchase on the conveyor-belt-thingy. I really didn't care anymore. Nearly twenty minutes later I emerged from the store with my precious underwear.

Moral of the story: don't go into a store in a hurry. At least I shouldn't. It's just silly.