March 17, 2010

Carrots

Her frail, shrunken body looked so small in the wheelchair. A blue sweater lay across her hunched spine. Her frizzy red hair was peppered with white and grey, and her skin was decorated in spots of sun and age. Only speaking when spoken to, only eating when prompted, I sat beside her in my scrubs, urging her onward. Very slowly, deliberately, she moved the metal fork with her fingers and tried to skewer the food on her plate. The first poke proved futile. The second and third also resulted in failure. In her sunken eyes I could see slight frustration, armed with determination. On the fourth try, the fork punctured the carrot. In a slow and slightly shaky movement that seemed to last for eternity, she guided the fork up to her mouth. It seemed as though every centimeter required great energy and focus. With the fork turned sideways, the carrot seemed to be barely hanging on to the metal utensil. I wanted her to feel accomplished and to feed herself. So instead of helping her, I watched with my breath held and wished that all the forces in the world would keep the carrot from a shameful death by plummeting into the depths of the napkin below. Twenty seconds later the carrot had successfully arrived in her mouth. So much pride welled up in me, for this woman I hardly knew. I would have given her a bear hug if her petite frame could have handled the pressure. Instead I kissed her on the forehead, and said in a voice loud enough for her nearly deaf ears to hear me: “Good job! I knew you could do it!” After a few seconds to process, she slowly turned her head my direction. Her blue eyes that were usually clouded over, seemed, only for a moment, to light up as she smiled and mumbled “Thank you.” My heart overflowed.

I never would have thought that a small meal could be filled with so many emotions and so much love. Never before have I been so grateful to a carrot. Never before have I had experiences quite like these. These are the moments I cherish.

2 Comments:

Blogger janelle said...

Alexa! Beautiful! I was right there by that wheelchair watching the whole thing. You are such a gifted writer! Thank you! Keep it up!

I am grateful to read your posts and to know a little of what's happening in your life.
Love you!
Auntie Janelle

March 21, 2010 at 11:27 PM  
Blogger Dylana Suarez said...

Just came across your blog! It is lovely!

colormenana.blogspot.com

April 18, 2010 at 12:39 AM  

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