Discomfort

Due to major changes and shifts in my life the past 3 months, I have been terribly inconsistent with blogging. I left the incredible Seattle and have moved back to my beloved Idaho. My frantic searching to find a job has moved writing down to the bottom of my priorities list. (but praise God I now have a job!)

With all these changes I have felt in a constant state of upheaval. I have been frustrated with God for allowing so much change at once. College life had finally settled into a comfortable routine, I had made some amazing friends, and had fallen in love with Seattle. I had a good idea of how the next three or four years would come to pass.

I never would have admitted it then, but now I can see that I became complacent. I have always been one to find the road of least friction. Conflict and I do not get along well. As a result my impulse is to avoid anything uncomfortable. I had fallen into a routine - found my niche - and wasn't too worried about life. But by avoiding conflict and discomfort, I also bypassed many opportunities to grow. Settling for what I felt was satisfactory didn't allow for God's best.

So here I find myself, back in Idaho, away from the friends I had made, away from my comfort, yanked out of my "plan". I can't help but feel that all this was necessary to shake me a little, and remind me once again that I am not the one in control of my life.

It's been a difficult season of life, and I hesitate to think that it will ever become as easy and carefree as it once was. But life is not about ease, and it is not about comfort. Life is about growing, learning, and becoming. So instead of asking for security or serenity, I'm working on asking for grace - to grow from my discomfort. Learn from my failure. And become less of what I want, and more of what He wants.