You can't get up unless you fall down
Falling down is painful. Yet as much as I try to avoid pain, sometimes that's the only way to grab my attention. You can walk down the road by yourself and not need anyone's help. But when you fall, that is when you realize how truly weak you are.
This week was a bit painful for me. I hadn't realized how far I had fallen, until I felt the pain. I have been struggling through a couple areas of life recently, but the most drastic is school. I have always been your typical "good student", and it seemed like I had the favor of all teachers, including the ones that weren't my favorite. I always took my position for granted I suppose. Well, the last few weeks something got into me and I completely slacked off. My grades began to dramatically reflect that. Multiple teachers asked if everything was alright. I know that not all students put much importance on grades. But to me, grades are as much a reflection of character as they are of studiousness. It didn't really hit me until last night when I was going through some papers and I found an extra copy of a recommendation letter written by one of my favorite teachers. As I read it, I was struck by how much I had let down the people who had come to trust and respect me. No one but me knows the entirety of the impact my high-school teachers have had and will continue to have on my life. They mean the world to me. The fact that I had possibly lost some of their trust and respect for me made me feel sick. It literally brought tears to my eyes. I had to fix this problem.
And then it hit me.
I had been trying to fix the problem on my own, and had resulted in failure. I had been ignoring the source of my strength. What am I? A mere human. Sometimes I need to be reminded.
To those who cared enough to say something, thank you so much. I think it is only in times of weakness that we notice the truly amazing people God has placed in our lives. To the ones who continued to nag me when I didn't have the motivation to do anything: thank you. To the ones who love me despite my flaws: thank you. And especially to the one who can revive my smile in the middle of a math class, because of a stupid pair of pants. Thank you. =)
But of course, even with all these people in my life, I could do nothing apart from my savior. Thank you Jesus, for picking me up when I fall.
This week was a bit painful for me. I hadn't realized how far I had fallen, until I felt the pain. I have been struggling through a couple areas of life recently, but the most drastic is school. I have always been your typical "good student", and it seemed like I had the favor of all teachers, including the ones that weren't my favorite. I always took my position for granted I suppose. Well, the last few weeks something got into me and I completely slacked off. My grades began to dramatically reflect that. Multiple teachers asked if everything was alright. I know that not all students put much importance on grades. But to me, grades are as much a reflection of character as they are of studiousness. It didn't really hit me until last night when I was going through some papers and I found an extra copy of a recommendation letter written by one of my favorite teachers. As I read it, I was struck by how much I had let down the people who had come to trust and respect me. No one but me knows the entirety of the impact my high-school teachers have had and will continue to have on my life. They mean the world to me. The fact that I had possibly lost some of their trust and respect for me made me feel sick. It literally brought tears to my eyes. I had to fix this problem.
And then it hit me.
I had been trying to fix the problem on my own, and had resulted in failure. I had been ignoring the source of my strength. What am I? A mere human. Sometimes I need to be reminded.
To those who cared enough to say something, thank you so much. I think it is only in times of weakness that we notice the truly amazing people God has placed in our lives. To the ones who continued to nag me when I didn't have the motivation to do anything: thank you. To the ones who love me despite my flaws: thank you. And especially to the one who can revive my smile in the middle of a math class, because of a stupid pair of pants. Thank you. =)
But of course, even with all these people in my life, I could do nothing apart from my savior. Thank you Jesus, for picking me up when I fall.
posted by AJ at
Friday, March 14, 2008
2 Comments:
Look at my blog alexa!!! It is freaking awesome. It's called "Shanethefishhunter.blogspot.com" Yours is pretty cool i guess :-)
Don't worry, I can always have Pierce call you again :)
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