The other day someone shared some words of encouragement with me, and said I had "so much to offer" to others. I was having a rather grumpy day, and my first response was a laugh that I kept to myself. For nearly two days I pondered exactly what it was that I had to offer. In my relationships with other people, whether family or friends, was I a "giver" or a "taker"? In most aspects of my life, I find that my problem is being over-generous, either to the embarrassment of the other person, or to the point that I spend my money unwisely. But when it comes to relationships, I don't even know whether or not I "take" too much from others. (In retrospect, I also find it very humorous that I have internal monologues with myself about my social habits.)
Finally, after spending far too much time worrying about what this person had said, I had an epiphany. (Don't ever say something to me and forget to mention the fact that it's a joke. I tend to over-analyze most every conversation.) I was sitting in church, still rather bothered by what I had to offer to other people in my life. I had come up with a few cheesy things, but why did that make me good friend material? Then it hit me. Actually, Ethan hit me. But the epiphany came pretty close to the same time. I realized that the entire reason that I would even want to gain new friends and strengthen the relationships that I already have, is not because of what either of us has to give to the other. It's because of what God gives each of us; whether it's life stories, the ability to extend grace, or the general desire to be in a community with others. I am nothing without Christ, remember? *hits myself on the forehead* Duh! I'm rather frustrated with how elementary some of my conclusions are. Apparently I need to be reminded of basic things. Part of life I suppose. Some things won't stick until they get hit into you. It's likely that I'll be covered in bruises by the time I'm thirty.