December 22, 2008

Normal? What's that?


This was written three days ago while I was sitting in the airport with absolutely nothing to do:

"Long ago I came to the conclusion that I enjoy people-watching. It’s so amusing and it helps the time pass. At the same time it also causes me to think, and gives me great stories and ideas to blog about. I also have come to enjoy just observing everything around me. Spending eight hours of my afternoon in the Seattle airport has given me ample time to participate in such activities. This is the first chance I’ve actually had to spend “quality” time in this airport. There are quite a few little shops that try and rip you off simply by putting the name “Washington” or “Seattle” on their products. There are times when I have felt like I’m going in circles because I know I’ve passed that store before, only to realize that there are five of them in the same airport. I laughed when I realized there was a wrapping center where you can pay a small fee to have your Christmas presents wrapped while you wait for your flight. I would assume that this is either for the people that, like my dad, hate wrapping presents, or for those who are headed home and were just hit with the realization that the items they bought for their loved ones are going to be blatantly naked when they pull them from their suitcase.
I love watching people walk past me on this – one of the busiest days to travel of the year – and wonder what their story is. Is the person with the hat like Sherlock Holmes attempting to make a fashion statement, or is the hat just comfortable? Does the mom walking with two toddlers on leashes really have that much trouble keeping her kids in order, or is it just a safety precaution? Does the guy with hair down to his arm-pits the color of algae, really want his hair to look like it was scraped off the surface of a pond, or did it maybe end up being a different color than he first anticipated? Is it really safe for that man to be flying? He looks as if he is about 200 years old and could keel over at any moment. I remember that airports have AED’s to use on victims of cardiac arrest. I wonder where the nearest one is? I wonder if I could still accurately go through the steps of using one without having my own myocardial infarction. I wonder if the woman wearing scrubs has witnessed any traumatic events in the course of her work. Has she had to deal with patients in her care dying? I wonder if the boy pulling his hot-wheels suitcase enjoyed his flight or if his mom had to hold his hand during the loud take-off. I wonder if that twelve-year-old girl on wheelies has ever biffed it while cruising on those things. Has anyone told that man recently that he really needs a haircut? Shoulder-length hair that is wispy and swept back can give the most masculine men a feminine look. I hope someone informs him of this. What’s with this door I see across the way that says “Presidents Club” in fancy script? Maybe it’s for those people that think a suit and tie, a Bluetooth on their ear, and Starbucks in their hand elevate them above the rest of society. I wonder how much money I have spent on coffee over the past year. I’d rather not know. I wonder if the man in army clothes, walking with his wife’s hand in his, has been gone for very long. I wonder if that other man has really convinced himself that his hair looks attractive in a ponytail. I can assure you right now that he would be incorrect. I wonder if the man sitting two chairs over realizes that he might go deaf. It could be that his headphones just don’t keep sound in too well but I doubt it. I also wonder if he realizes how ridiculous he looks shaking his head to the beat of the music blaring from his iPod.
See, this is why I enjoy watching other people. It helps raise my self esteem when I realize that compared to everyone else, I'm relatively normal."

December 7, 2008

Freedom

Often when the subject of freedom comes up, I automatically think of one party being freed from enslavement by another. It's easy to forget that you can be enslaved by yourself.
One thing I have really learned in the past few months is that even the people who seem to have it all together still struggle. There really isn't anyone who is perfect. It's been easier for me to share my troubles when I realize that there are others going through the same thing. I struggle with being open about my problems because I feel so inadequate compared to other people. But then I realize - I shouldn't be comparing myself to others in the first place. I should place myself next to God's standards. That is what I should strive for. That is what should dictate whether I'm making progress in certain areas of my life. It is when I compare myself to his requirement of perfection that I finally realize how far behind I have fallen. It is then that I realize the true miracle of his grace. Only then will I be free.


Click here to hear a song that seems to encapsulate my thoughts rather well.

All my chains I can’t disengage
And I don’t believe that I want to
One hand sings your praise the other brings me shame
I have selfishness to blame

And I’m singing for freedom
I know I’m not the only one
Praying to the One
Who can bring me this freedom
And I’m ready for change

Broken down I lay
I keep holding my chains
No longer bound but here I stay
I scream Father please
I need rescuing I need You and You alone

And I’m singing for freedom
I know I’m not the only one
Praying to the One
Who can bring me this freedom
I’m ready for... I’m ready for (change)

Still You patiently await
Yet I won’t just let go
I see You and You alone
Saying come follow me despair has come so You can see
Release

And so I’m singing for freedom
And so I’m singing for freedom

The time has come separation lost the war to love
Take my hand grace has found You where you once began
Your alive You're alive in the waking of new life
Take my hand in the end there’s only love
There’s only love

There’s only singing for freedom
I know I’m not the only One
Praying to the One
Who can bring me this freedom
And I’m ready for... I’m ready for...
Father please I need rescuing
I need You and You alone